Stars above us

I can't remember when I first met you. Feels like you've always been there. But I do remember the first time when I thought about you. Really thought about you. It was at night when I was trying to fall asleep. It was as if you were a mellow tune or kind words someone whispered in my ear. I don't know how it happened but one second I wasn't thinking about you, then the next I was. All of a sudden you were there, and after that you never left. Since that night you've always been on my mind, directly or indirectly.

We were friends at first. Buddies, you and I. Along with others we shared the adventures of warm summers. There was another girl for you and another boy for me. We couldn't be more than buddies, nor did we want to. I wonder now, did you ever think of me in that way? Did I ever think of you that way? I don't think I did. Not until that one night.

It was after that evening on the beach. We had a small bonfire. Me, you and the rest. We all had too much to drink. You even more. As usual. I will never stop wondering: if things hadn't turned out the way they did that night, would I ever had had you? If those guys from your college that you didn't like wouldn't have come by, that one guy would never had offended you. I didn't know back then how much his words hurt you. If they hadn't come, you two wouldn't have gotten in to that fight. You wouldn't have run off, I wouldn't have been the one finding you. You cried. That was the first time I ever saw you not smiling. And it got to me. Obviously.

And then, when I was lying in my bed staring at the glow-in-the-dark-stars in my ceiling, suddenly you were there. In my head. And you never left. And you never will. No matter if I am in yours. Or not.